Free Sports Picks: Home CFB NBA CBB MLB MMA Boxing Super Bowl
LootMeister NFL Picks
Online SportsbooksBest Sportsbook Bonuses
GTBets

Football Quotes

Famous and Funny Football Quotes and Sayings

By Loot, NFL Handicapper, Lootmeister.com

Erma Bombeck

“If a man watches 3 football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.”

Dick Butkus

“I wouldn’t ever go out to hurt anybody deliberately unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something.”

Bruce Coslet

“We can’t run. We can’t pass. We can’t stop the run. We can’t stop the pass. Other than that, we’re just not a very good football team right now.”

Dan Devine

”There are two type of people in this world: those who hate Notre Dame and those who love Notre Dame, and their both a pain in the ass.”

Phyllis Diller

“The reason women don’t play football is because you’d never see 11 of them wearing the same outfit in public.”

Mike Ditka

“If God had wanted us to play soccer, he wouldn’t have given us arms.”

“Effort without talent is a depressing situation, but talent without effort is a tragedy.”

Art Donovan

“He runs like a camel, a really pissed-off camel.”--on QB Johnny Unitas.

“The best way to die is to sit under a tree, eat lots of bologna and salami, drink a case of beer, and just blow up.”

Dan Fouts

“Now that I’m retired I want to say that all defensive linemen are sissies.”

Thomas “Hollywood” Henderson

“Terry Bradshaw couldn’t spell “cat” if you spotted him the C and the T.”

Frank Gifford

“Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.”

Tim Green

“Let’s face it, you have to have a slightly recessive gene that has a little something to do with the brain to go out on the football field and beat your head against other human beings on a daily basis.”

BET ON NFL FOOTBALL GAMES USING YOUR CREDIT CARD AND TO RECEIVE A GENEROUS 50% SIGNUP BONUS AT THE MOST TRUSTED BOOK ON THE INTERNET: BOVADA

Bo Jackson

“If my mother put on a helmet and shoulder pads and a uniform that wasn’t the same as the one I was wearing, I’d run over her if she was in my way. And I love my mother.”

“Football is easy if you’re crazy as hell.”

Vince Lombardi

“Gentlemen, we are going to relentlessly chase perfection, knowing full well we will not catch it.”

“Winners never quit and quitters never win.”

“It’s not whether you get knocked down. It’s whether you get up.”

“The difference between a successful person and others is not a alack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.”

“The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.”

“Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.”

“Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit.”

“Show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser.”

“A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.”

John Madden

“What’s the toughest thing in a professional football game? It’s being the mother of the quarterback--toughest thing.”

“Don’t worry about the horse being blind. Just load the wagon.”

“Coaches have to watch what they don’t want to see and listen to what they don’t want to hear.”

“If you see a defense with dirt and mud on their backs, they’ve had a bad day.”

“The road to Easy Street goes through the sewer.”

“Mark Brunell usually likes to soak his balls before a rainy game.”

Max McGee

“When it’s third and ten, you can take the milk drinkers and I’ll take the whiskey drinkers.”

John McKay

“I’m in favor of it.” --when asked by a reporter about his team’s execution.

“Well, we didn’t block well, but we made up for it by not tackling.”

“If you have everyone back from a team that lost ten games, experience isn’t too important.”

“Every time I look up, it seems we’re punting.”

“Capece is kaput.” --after cutting kicker Bill Capece.

Jim McMahon

“The Packers have lots of owners nobody knows instead of one owner who doesn’t know squat.”

“The people don’t take baths and don’t speak English. No golf courses, no room-service. Who needs it?--on Europe.

Dennis Miller

“The field goal attempt was so far to the left, it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.”

“Could it be any more humid here in Miami? I want to pretend that I’m algae.”

“I’ve seen women peeing standing up with better aim.”

“With Browns tickets what they are, you just know that all those dads who brought their entire family to sit in the ‘Dog Pound’ are secretly calculating how much blood they’re going to have to sell to put groceries on the table.”

“The Cowboys defense has more holes that Ronnie Milsap and Jose Feliciano after a game of lawn darts.”

“Their offense is shakier than Katherine Hepburn after an all-night espresso bender at Starbucks.”

Joe Namath

“When you win, nothing hurts.”

“Until I was 13, I thought my name was ‘shut up.’”

“We’re going to win on Sunday. I guarantee it.”

“If you aren’t going all the way, why go at all.”

Chuck Noll

“The thrill isn’t in the winning, it’s in the doing.”

Merlin Olsen

“Football linemen are motivated by a more complicated, self-determining series of factors than the simple fear of humiliation in the public gaze, which is the emotion that galvanizes the backs and receivers.”

Bill Parcells

“I like linebackers. I collect ‘em. You can’t have too many good ones.”

“I think confrontation is healthy because it clears the air very quickly.”

“There is winning and there is misery.”

“If you’re sensitive, you will have a hard tome with me.”

Bill Peterson

“You guys line up alphabetically by height.”

“Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl.”

Jerry Rice

“Today I will do what others won’t so tomorrow I will do what others can’t.”

Knute Rockne

“Build up your weaknesses until they become your strengths.”

“I’ve found that prayers work best when you have big players.”

Share this article with friends:

Leave a comment:

SAVE BIG MONEY BY BETTING AT -105 REDUCED ODDS!
Quit wasting your hard earned money! Make the switch from -110 to -105 odds today!
Doc's Sports NFL Picks

NFL Betting

  • Reduced Juice - Loot explains how reduced odds football betting works and where you can find this valuable asset.
  • What is a Point Spread? - Many new to the game struggle to understand why one side has a (+) while the other has a (-) in front of a team. We explain what the spread is and how it works.
  • Football Bets - All the different types of wagers that you can make when betting on football games.
  • What Professional Handicappers Do - Learn the tricks of the trade and increase your odds of beating the books!
  • Key Numbers - The article that bookies don't want you to read!
  • NFL Betting Quiz - Test your football wagering prowess with Loot's 10 question quiz!
  • Super Bowl 52 Predictions - Loot gives his preseason picks for which teams are most likely to win "the big game" along with middle of the road and a longshot that is sure to surprise you!
  • 2017 NFL Season Wins Predictions - Loot breaks down every team and gives his opinion on how they'll do vs. the number!
  • 2017 NFL Bye Weeks - The first set start in Week 5 and the final byes take place in Week 11. Loot also gives tips on betting on teams coming off byes.
  • 2017 NFL Coaching Changes - We seem to be in an era where football coaches become disposable in an instant if they don't win. 2016 was no different as a handful of teams made the switch. Check out who went where right here!

MISC.

  • Famous Football Players - Biographies of the best and greatest NFL football players of all-time.
  • Greatest NFL Players of All Time - A list of all time greats at each position. Each position has it's own dedicated article!
  • Best Quarterbacks of All Time - Joe Montana heads our list of top 10 QB's, however, Tom Brady is a sure bet to give him a run for his money by the time his career is said and done.
  • Best Running Backs of All Time - We list the top 10 greatest ball carriers of all-time. The order may be debatable, as Jim Brown, Barry Sanders and Walter Payton all brought something special to the gridiron.
  • Football Lingo - One must be very familiar with all of the terms, slang and jargon associated with this game to win at football betting. Find a slew of pigskin terminology right here!
  • Football Quotes - Funny and memorable sayings from around the National Football League including comments made by Vince Lombardi and John Madden.
Reduced Juice Sports Betting 100% Sportsbook Bonus Best Parlay Odds Online